Written by: Sean McCaffrey from http://www.declarationofindependents.net/doi/pages/index1.html
USA Pro ran their final show in the Madhouse of Extreme, The Elks Lodge, on 11/29. USA Pro reported an attendance of 1468. I know at one time I counted 1100 people, but people were walking in and out of the show, and you don’t know what ticketsellers bought tickets just to get on the show. Either way, there was at least 1200 people there at any given moment, except towards the end when people started filing out. Great job by USA Pro, on getting the fans in there, when other indies are struggling to crack 100 fans at their shows.
PRESHOW: Partied like Andre the Giant and started what would be the first of 30 some odd beers. I think I saw Harry Slash drink some ethanol as well!
Now, onto the show.
USA Pro Wrestling
“End of an Era”
From the Madhouse of Extreme, The Elks Lodge
Attendance: 1468
Your referees were Scott Dickinson and Ref Andre from NYWC
Ring announcer: Dexter Weiner (Pronounced Y-ner)
Show opens up with The Star Spangled Banner. DJ Anthony’s music was off all night, and it’s great that he even was able to botch up the Star Spangled Banner. He must’ve been on crack or something.
Fred Sampson d. Tommy Trouble
Most of the crowd were saying “Who?”, but these guys had a pretty decent match. Both guys come from the IWF training school in NJ. Sampson even worked on Smackdown as a security guard. This was the first time I’ve seen Tommy Trouble, and besides one little exchange, he looked pretty good. Sampson has a great look and moves extremely well for a big guy. Funny part of the match was the crowd chanting “MAVEN!” I got to tell you, the crowd was fucking hotter than a gonnorreah piss. It was loud all night, and it was no holds barred, everyone and anyone got screamed at, including the faggot bitch who dressed up like Michael Jackson. No joke, ½ the crowd was standing and screaming and chanting the whole show. It was a great atmosphere. Sampson eventually shrugged off the maven chants and hit a bit sit-down powerslam on Trouble for the pinfall. Good work by both guys.
In a King of The Elks Lodge Match
(Who would want to be King of The Elks lodge? Seriously, do you want to rule over the homeless people that sleep on top of it? Why would you want to be King when your main delicacy are 4 month old hotdogs?)
Poppalishus d. Johnny TNT, JAV, Jay Static, Justin Cage, Mr. Big, Matt The Angry Young Man, Sabatoge, J-Kronik, Chris “Truckdriver” (Reefer is here) Danger, Ken Scampi, Travis Blackchurch w/Penny Dreadful, and Afato.
Ah this was a fucking cluster, and the crowd knew it. Funny lines were just people screaming at these guys for selling tickets lol. (Even tho in reality, maybe only ½ of them did) I thought Ken Scampi was the star of this match and should’ve won, as he was the best wrestler in this. I think the crowd did to, as Scampimania was getting the biggest pop, and I think even Dyami popped in his pants for it! (That’s what Zevon told me anyway!) The match started off as a royal rumble style battle royal, but the last 4 guys remaining turned it into a 4 corner match. Poppalishus, king of the personal ads, defeated Ken Scampi in the finals to end this. When it got down to the last 4 it wasn’t too bad. I think Ken Scampi impressed a lot of the right people tonight, and it is evident he will be brought back. (Keep reading…)
The Christopher Street Connection (Mace and Buffy) d. The Solution (Papadon and Havok) w/Miss Michelle
PREMATCH: Solution cut a promo. The fans turn hard on the Solution and started chanting Miss Michelle has herpes. That wasn’t confirmed, because Michelle replied “SHUT UP!” instead of refuting that claim of the STD.
Pretty good match here, with the CSC amped up to max level. Their antics are hilarious and never seem to get old, like some other gimmicks. Funny spots of the match was Mace getting sunset flipped by Papadon, and to counter the pinfall, Mace started stroking Papadons meats with his mouth! Man that was fucking um… gay? Finish saw Miss Michelle throw her purse in the ring, only to be caught by Buffy who slapped Havok across the head with it, and got the pin on the unconscious Havok. Havok should’ve been rushed to the hospital. Imagine explaining that, “I was knocked out cold because some fag hit me with a purse.” What’s up with that finish, what is this 1996 WCW? Pretty funny stuff, but I don’t know how a little purse would knock out a 300 pound guy. Maybe if they emptied out the purse, and there was a brick in there or something, I could see that, but I don’t see a lipstick and a compact mirror, held in a cloth purse, could knock a big dude like Havok out. Regardless of the finish, this match was very entertaining.
For the new USA Pro Trios Title
Los Lunatics (Boogalou/Low Ryda/Eddie Guapo) d. Trailer Park Trash (Tony Burma/Southern Vinny Stylin’/Nuke), Jimmy Hustler/Rob Fury/Envy and The Elm Street Kids (Pyscho/Rayza/Danny Yamz)
Match sucked in the beginning, but picked up later on. The Elm Street Kids were bounced out first. Everyone was talking about the beating Rob Fury got in this match. He seemed not to be in a happy mood later on when I was asking him if he was Orlando Jordan. And Zevon, if I say you look like a midget George Costanza is that racist? But when you say a black guy looks like another black guy, then that’s considered racist? Either way, Orlando Jordan looks like Rob Fury lol. Anyway, Fury fucked up big time, and it was confirmed by people in that match, so the veterans let him have it. The Lunatics (Mostly Guapo and Boogalou) fucking destroyed Rob Fury, and beat him up and down the head body and legs. It wasn’t over for Fury, as the Lunatics tagged in that big ole honkey, Tony Burma, as Tony Burma ran the ring and slapped Fury with his bare foot across the face. All I was thinking when the Lunatics and Burma opened up on Fury was, “Man I’m glad I’m a drunk dirt sheet writer, not a wrestler.” Fury’s team finally was eliminated. We were down to the two teams the title was intended for, Trailer Park Trash and Los Lunatics. Boogalou pinned SVS for the win, and for the titles, and Los Lunatics are the first ever USA Pro Trios champions.
POSTMATCH: Lunatics beat up SVS.
I hope that at the next show, Lunatics and Trailer Park Trash have a straight up match, instead of having other teams involved, because when the other teams were eliminated, the action picked up, and these 6 could have a great match together.
Zevon also pointed something out to me, that I didn’t realize in my drunken haze about Southern Vinny Stylin’ taking a beating after the match that he could’ve got out of the way of. Props go out to SVS, and props to Zevons attentive mind.
Mike Tobin w/Tony Lo and Bobcat d. Prince Nana
PREMATCH: Both men cut promos.
This was a short match, maybe only 5 minutes top, that saw Mike Tobin able to pin Nana cleanly. Pretty decent outing by both guys. This has to be considered a major win for Mike Tobin, as Nana has accomplished a lot in the indies, from ECWA to USA Pro.
POSTMATCH: Nana is pissed about losing and beats the shit out of Tony Lo, and hits his trademarked running ass into the corner colliding with Lo’s head. Crowd loved it.
In what easily was match of the night, and maybe the match of the year in USA PRO
Low Ki d. Sonjay Dutt
Excellent match. I didn’t think the crowd would pop for a straight classic wrestling match, with power moves being built up by smaller moves, but I was wrong. The crowd loved it and showed much appreciation to these fine athletes. The story of this match was Low Ki trying to get the Ki Krusher on Sonjay. He went for the Krusher at least 3 times, but every time, Sonjay was able to get out of it. The first time Sonjay grabbed the ropes as Low Ki charged Sonjay in the corner. The second time Sonjay broke free. The third time, Low Ki had him, but took such a beating, that he couldn’t carry him in the Ki Krusher position. Lots of false finishes in this one, with Sonjay hitting every offensive maneuver in his arsenal. Sonjay took a lot of kicks from Low Ki as well. This match was mucho impresso. Finish saw Low Ki finally muster the strength and power to get Sonjay on his shoulders, ram Sonjay’s head into the turnbuckles hit the Ki Krusher for the pinfall, to win this epic bout. Crowd went nuts and it was great seeing this match live.
For the United States Championship
Mike Kruel w/Simply Luscious d. Crowbar w/Serena
Billy Reil was stripped of the title for not appearing. Why wasn’t he there? Because he was attending to his wife who is bound to have a baby at any given moment. I think that was bullshit that he got stripped of the title because his wife is about to bust. I know that USA Pro likes to have every title defended at every show, but it’s not necessary to do that. I know as a USA Pro fan, I could care less if every title was defended, and at the end of the night, I remember more that Reil got stripped because he was with his family than there was no US Title match. One of the few bad moves by USA Pro tonight.
This match had the difficult task of following Sonjay/Low Ki and in all honesty was boring and dull. If this followed a ticket seller match or maybe a comedy match, this match would’ve looked better, but going right after what is probably the best match USA pro ever had was tough. Kruel finally got the win with a DVD slam. Kruel is the new US Champion.
POSTMATCH: Simply Luscious argues with Kruel about not having a mean streak. Kruel slaps Luscious in the face. Very manly. Luscious gets up and says she likes getting slapped and said Kruel needs fire. Luscious says she wants to be with these guys, and out walk Knightlife- Simon Diamond, Mike Tobin, Tony Lo, Striker and Bobcat. Simon says Kruel has no CHARAS-MA (hilarious the way he said it) and teaches Kruel how to strut. Kruel rejoins Knightlife. This makes no sense. Kruel saves Luscious from Knightlife, beats the crap out of them, and decides to rejoin? That’s like if I got jumped in the streets by the Latin Kings, and then decided to join them, even though we had a long feud and they took a lot out of me. Oh well. The only positive I can see about Kruel being the 11th member of Knightlife is that Billy Reil is also a member, the same Billy Reil who was stripped of his title tonight. At least an altercation between Reil and Kruel will come out of this, and that would be a good match.
The Masked Maniac Minute was up next.
The Masked Maniac runs down the history of the elks lodge giving a lot of respect for ECW, saying “If it wasn’t for ECW, we wouldn’t be here.” That was classy. He also points out “Sabboth The Stiffer” and a brief ICW chant breaks out. He says the new Korean owners don’t want wrestling in the Elks Lodge no more, and a huge FUCK THE GOOKS chant starts out. Bravado was seen crying due to the insensitivity towards his Asian people. The Maniac introduces Dana Dameson. The Masked Maniac then talks about Dana not going to wrestling school, and then body slams her down. Well… that was pointless. What happened to Monsta Mack? I thought Monsta Mack was supposed to be confronted by The Masked Maniac. More on Monsta Mack at the end of this review. After bodyslamming Dana, this led to…
The Masked Maniac d. Ken Sweeney
This match went all over the place. It finally made its way over to the DOI Table, where the Masked Maniac slammed Sweeney on. Maniac then jumped on the radiator sill, with ease, which I was in awe of, and dropped his 250 pound ass through Sweeney, smashing Sweeney through the table. A beer comes wizzing past my head, hitting Sweeney in his face. Whoever through that beer must be rich, because those beers are 3 bucks each! Plus you wasted beer you fuck. A huge holy shit chant broke out. Maniac then continued to beat on Mr. Sweeney, and got the clean pinfall in the middle of the ring.
POSTMATCH: The Masked Maniac said that was it for bad matches of the night and promised great matches for the rest of the show. My only question to the Masked Maniac is where was Smelly Randy? I thought that a kielbasa or something of that magnitude would be thrown in Randy’s ass at the last Elks show, but it wasn’t meant to be. I know a lot of people aren’t a fan of hot dog insertion, me being one of them, but still it is pretty funny. Speaking of henchmen like Randy, where was Triple A tonight? I didn’t see him having ticket sellers on lock down before the show. He must have aids or something to miss this show.
Low Life Louie Ramos d. Johnny “Bison” Bravado, Danny Demanto w/Amanda Violet and The New Dynamite Kid
Special Guest Ref: The Motivator
Brutal fucking match here. This was an elimination match. This match was fucking nuts. At one point, everyone teamed up on Louie, pulled his boot off and stapled dollar bills to his feet. Holy fuck that had to hurt, Louie is a fucking animal. Louie then retaliated and stapled dollar bills to Amanda Violet’s head getting the loudest HOLY SHIT chant of the show. Funny part of the match, was the DOI’s own, The Motivator, selling every brutal and grotesque move with agony. He goes from a hardcore legend to a hardcore ripoff of Sean Hanson. LOL, had to get that in there! Danny Demanto eliminated The New Dynamite Kid when he hogsplashed him from the top rope through a table. Crowd went fucking crazy for it. Bravado then pinned Demanto. Louie capped off this match and got the victory when he DVD’d Bravado for the pinfall. All four guys did a hell of a fucking job tonight, and bled for the elks lodge fans and earned respect.
POSTMATCH: The Grim Reefer comes out and beats the fucking piss out of Louie. Why he turned on Louie for no reason, or even attacked Louie wasn’t explained. But hey, at least USA Pro is trying to push a feud, and Louie vs Reefer will be an interesting match. It was later booked, as Louie challenged Reefer, and it will be Louie/Reefer on 2/14 in Bethpage, Long Island New York. If Reefer is allowed to talk and explain why, I’m sure it will be gold, as I’ve seen a full blown heel Reefer, and it is very fucking good.
Intermission. Fuck the protein shakes /, I was drinking beer like a hillbilly at a monster truck rally. Or maybe like a white boy at a wrestling show lol.
For the USA Pro Xtreme Title
© Deranged d. Dan Barry and Johnny Ova
This match was put together at the last minute, and it showed. Probably not as strong as it could’ve been, but then again, expectations are high for these guys, as they are the 3 of the best cruiser/lightweights today. Deranged wrapped up Ova for the win.
For the USA Pro Tag Team Titles
© Mikey and Wayne w/Tara Charisma d. The Dirty Rotten Scoundrelz (EC Negro and KC Blade)
PREMATCH: DRS cut a promo saying they don’t need the fans and go full blown heel. Seems that everyone turned heel tonight.
For some reason that wasn’t explained, Mikey and Wayne came out in SAT gear. The sultry Tara Charisma was even dressed like The Amazing Red. This made no sense. Why would these members of the flock dress up like The SAT for? The SAT have been fired by USA Pro, and why even bring their name out? Mikey and Wayne even tried getting a FAT chant out. Um ok. This whole SAT/FAT shit made no sense at all and took away from the match. KC Blade is going to wind up seriously missing major time if he continues to wrestle with a broken ankle. Mikey Whipwreck pinned EC Negro for the win and to retain the tag straps.
Balls Mahoney d. Axl Rotten
PREMATCH: Balls and Axl embrace and talk about their history and what the building means to them. Crowd went bonkers for these guys. Both guys bled early and bled often. Balls Mahoney eventually got the pinfall for the win.
POSTMATCH: Ken Scampi runs out. He goes to attack Balls Mahoney. Axl Rotten helps Balls and Balls and Axl go nuts on Scampi illiciting chants of BALLS! AXL! BALLS! AXL, for every punch that was thrown by these guys. Scampi rolls out. If this means Balls vs Scampi at the next show, we could see something interesting. After Scampi left, DJ Anthony fucked up yet again, and Balls had no music. Balls in a great improv spot, got the whole crowd to sing his theme song to the back. Nutcracker Suite was sung by the Elks Lodge, sending off Balls Mahoney in a great fashion. I know I mentioned Balls in the JAPW review, but the fact that this guy lost about 200+ pounds is astonishing. He is probably in the best shape of his career, weight wise. I don’t know if his knees and elbows are still bothering him.
The Triple Threat come out – Chris Candido w/Tammy Sytch, Bam Bam Bigelow and Shane Douglas. I am not a huge Shane Douglas fan, but he cut a great promo about the Elks Lodge and the difference between NY and Philly fans. He goes nuts on Philly fans saying they disrespect everything and that NY fans always give love and respect. Can’t argue that one, look at Philly right now, so many promotions, where it’s so hard to get a pop anymore, because the fans have seen everything there. This promo eventually led to…
Chris Candido/Bam Bam Bigelow w/Tammy Sytch d. Simon Diamond/Matt Striker w/Bobcat
This was a back and forth match. The former USA PW tag champs looked solid in this one. The promo before the match established who the faces and heels were, so kudos to Douglas on his promo. Candido was able to pin Striker for the victory. Tammy Sytch looks a lot better than she did at the last show. I have to agree with USA Pro promoter, Frank Goodman – Chris Candido is one of the best wrestlers going.
Shane Douglas came out to celebrate with his fellow Triple Threat members. He talked about the power of the Triple Threat and what it means. All of a sudden out came The Sandman, and we had…
Shane Douglas d. The Sandman
It’s funny how the first 12 matches were all these cool indy matches, and at the end it was the ECW show. The ECW show of matches took up a lot of time, and weren’t as exciting some of the previous matches. Shane Douglas was able to get the pin, with help of his Triple Threat buddies for the victory.
Frank Goodman came out. He introduced former 7 time USA PW Tag Team Champion, Danny Drake. Drake cut a promo heeling out the audience. This segment was pointless. Why introduce a guy who is retired and not wrestling, just to have him heel out the crowd? The crowd cheered for Drake too. Unless he’s coming back in a managerial role or something, I thought this segment was not needed.
For the USA Pro Heavyweight Championship
© Raven d. Al Snow
This match was 45 minutes long. I’ll let you decide if that is good or bad. I was pretty wiped out, but I was expecting a 13 hour show, so I guess a 5 hour + show wasn’t that bad. More on that at the end. The flock kept interfering, which seems to be a trend in these main event matches. Both wrestlers kicked out of each others finishers. Raven eventually got the pin, to retain his championship.
POSTMATCH: The Triple Threat run out and beat the crap out of the Flock. Douglas gets the mic and heels out everyone. Now this promo was better than the other heel promos, because he was built up as big good guy, then just said fuck you to the crowd. Great job here. Douglas challenges Raven for the title at the next show and we have our main event set up for the next show. Good to see USA Pro finally starting to inject some reasoning into their matches, as this was the 4th or 5th potential match set up. Good way to build up future shows, instead of just having these 6 hour marathon extravaganzas.
Final McWord
Overall, this was a good show. My major gripe was something that happened outside of the ring not inside. Monsta Mack. Monsta Mack is ½ of one of the greatest tag teams to ever grace the indies. The guy goes all out every match. He was booked to be on the show. As a matter of fact, on the USA Pro Hotline, in The Masked Maniacs column on the USA Pro Website and even on the USA Pro Message Board, Monsta Mack was scheduled to be there, appear on the Maniac Minute and have a match. (Originally scheduled to wrestle Prince Nana.) Now I know there were a lot of other wrestlers on the show, but a lot of other people didn’t make it. Crazy Ivan was at WCICW. Billy Reil’s wife is about to have a baby. Slyk Wagner Brown and April were told to go to ROH on Friday. Homicide, Xavier, Mafia, Steve Corino, and others were also at ROH. There was a spot available. Yes, there were 62 WRESTLERS on the show. I know about insurance for guys, on the promoters end, but I don’t think 63 is a cut off number to raise insurance prices. I was informed from someone who wanted to remain nameless that several guys were booked last minute, which led to the bumping of Monsta Mack. I mean, how do you bump a guy like Monsta Mack who goes all out for the promotion when asked, and even did an interview with USA Pro Wrestling a week before the show? Monsta Mack could’ve easily been added to the King of The Elks, and probably would’ve produced a respected winner. Mack could’ve done his bit as Monsta Mackarooni with The Masked Maniac. Mack could’ve even been thrown in the hardcore match. Monsta Mack was able to appear on this show, and to see him bumped, while other guys who were booked last second and to have people who sold tickets to wrestle in the same building as Rob Van Dam, Sabu, Taz, The Dudleyz and more, is despicable. Call me biased for supporting a fellow DOI Columnist, but more importantly a hell of a wrestler, but I felt that Monsta Mack got fucked royally by USA Pro tonight. For all the positive energy that was going on, with the high attendance and good matches, this was a travesty.
I thought a lot of the matches were really good, but nothing came close to topping Low Ki vs Sonjay Dutt. It was good to see The Solution and The Christopher Street Connection wrestle a one on one match, as opposed to being thrown in a gauntlet. Low Life Louie gets crazier every show.
Luminaries in attendance you ask? Jesus Christ, who wasn’t there is a better question. Everyone was at this show and it would be impossible to list everyone. Anyone who is anyone in indy wrestling, the hardcore indy fans, the casual indy fans, wrestlers from other promotions, and the DOI were all there screaming, hooting, hollering and having a good time.
